My dad and I have always been very close. Even when we moved to different states, we kept in touch but we hardly ever got to see each other. There were two summers and a Christmas I flew out to Nevada to visit, but that was it. So when I told him I had decided to move to Portland, I could tell that he was beside himself. And honestly, I was, too.
It's not like I was worried that we wouldn't recognize each other or something. I guess I was just nervously excited because I wasn't seventeen anymore. I had changed beyond measure, and so had he. But it was all in good ways. Despite my attempt at a rock-hard adult exterior, I was still reduced to a ten-year-old when I entered the baggage claim area in the airport and ran toward him, tears in my eyes and saying "DADDY!"
It's just like old times, but even better. And there's another person added to the mix. Jenise is honestly one of the coolest people I've ever met. I totally knew she and Dad were meant for one another when I found out how much she loved Tom Waits, but that's beside the point. I've reconnected with my Dad and I'm getting to know my newest family members. My stepbrother lives out here, too, but I've yet to meet him face-to-face.
Yesterday afternoon, Dad took me on a walking tour of our neighborhood. I've never felt so at home in another state. While I still love my home state, I would totally be comfortable saying, "Yeah, I'm from Oregon." Does that make me a traitor or a poser? Anyway, our neighborhood has so many little antique shops, coffee houses, and other artsy stuff that it's mind-boggling. The only thing I don't like about it so far is that things tend to open early and close early. Not the best for night owls, but thankfully night owls can become sunrise chirpies (I just made that up, DIG IT).
Other than that, I haven't had any major problems with anything. I miss my friends and family back in Tennessee, but we keep in touch. I'm curling back into myself less and less and I've become utterly appalled by the amount of sad songs on my iPod. Things have gone from Winter Song by Sarah McLachlan to River of Dreams by Billy Joel. And for this, I am thankful.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
"'Cause I'm free as a bird now."
Rarely am I hyper-philosophical when it comes to my blog posts, I something came to mind today that I thought would be a nice little moment to share with my friends.
Last Monday, Josh and I went to WonderWorks in Pigeon Forge (Google it). His mom, Karen, dropped us off and we had a blast. The various exhibits were family-friendly, some almost childish but fun nonetheless. It was completely normal. Josh and I were just a plain young couple again. Everything we did was done in two's. Josh spent four dollars on tokens for us to play games in the arcade at the end near the gift shop. He refused to share the one hundred and thirty-nine tickets we collected, insisting that I get some little plastic dinosaurs or sour candy. Just mindless, childish fun. Just like it used to be.
After we finished looking at everything, Karen picked us up and we ate at Cracker Barrel. I had the beef stew as usual. We looked at all the candy and home items. Among them was a toaster that could burn the UT symbol into a slice of bread. Definitely one of the more unique football fan items I've ever seen. During our lunch, Karen asked me if there was anything else I wanted to do while we were in Pigeon Forge. I was tired and had some more sorting to get through. She and Josh understood and reminded me that we were going to hang out in Knoxville the next day. I was happy, but sleep had escaped me the night before. I just wanted to nap.
We got into the car and headed off down the road. Without unbuckling my seat belt, I leaned over and placed my head on a sweater next to Josh. He put his arm over my shoulder and stroked my arm like he always did when I fell asleep in the car. The radio was on and the sunlight came in through we windows, making me even sleepier. I'm not sure what station the radio was even on, but it played a variety of songs. At some point, everyone's favorite redneck hymn started coming through the speakers.
If I leave here tomorrow,
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
In hindsight, the moment was humorously poetic. A little Tennessee girl, about to head into the unknown western frontier to seek her fortune. I have never wanted to flick a lighter and sway it in the air so badly as I did right then.
Last Monday, Josh and I went to WonderWorks in Pigeon Forge (Google it). His mom, Karen, dropped us off and we had a blast. The various exhibits were family-friendly, some almost childish but fun nonetheless. It was completely normal. Josh and I were just a plain young couple again. Everything we did was done in two's. Josh spent four dollars on tokens for us to play games in the arcade at the end near the gift shop. He refused to share the one hundred and thirty-nine tickets we collected, insisting that I get some little plastic dinosaurs or sour candy. Just mindless, childish fun. Just like it used to be.
After we finished looking at everything, Karen picked us up and we ate at Cracker Barrel. I had the beef stew as usual. We looked at all the candy and home items. Among them was a toaster that could burn the UT symbol into a slice of bread. Definitely one of the more unique football fan items I've ever seen. During our lunch, Karen asked me if there was anything else I wanted to do while we were in Pigeon Forge. I was tired and had some more sorting to get through. She and Josh understood and reminded me that we were going to hang out in Knoxville the next day. I was happy, but sleep had escaped me the night before. I just wanted to nap.
We got into the car and headed off down the road. Without unbuckling my seat belt, I leaned over and placed my head on a sweater next to Josh. He put his arm over my shoulder and stroked my arm like he always did when I fell asleep in the car. The radio was on and the sunlight came in through we windows, making me even sleepier. I'm not sure what station the radio was even on, but it played a variety of songs. At some point, everyone's favorite redneck hymn started coming through the speakers.
If I leave here tomorrow,
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
In hindsight, the moment was humorously poetic. A little Tennessee girl, about to head into the unknown western frontier to seek her fortune. I have never wanted to flick a lighter and sway it in the air so badly as I did right then.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Stuff Went Down, Yo
Big things have happened in my life. Big, big things.
I'll start from the top: I stopped blogging (and doing much of anything else) because I essentially lost all motivation to do much of anything. While my anxiety was in check (another story altogether), everything else just didn't seem right and things had to change. Long story short, I relocated to Portland, Oregon. It wasn't exactly spur-of-the-moment since I had thought about it for a while, but I didn't know I would be moving so soon. While I know this won't magically solve all my problems, this will give me time and a new place to put things in perspective and "find out who I really am." That last bit sounds kind of New-Agey bullcrappish, but it's true, lol.
Saying goodbye to my family, Josh, and his family was the hardest part. I told myself to be all hard and not to cry, only to end up breaking down and sobbing like Lucille Ball in McGhee Tyson Airport while my mom and sister cried alongside. Flying freaks me out, but I made all my connections and landed safe and sound in the City of Roses, thanks to my Heavenly Father.
The second hardest part was having to leave my Chirpy Bird, Josh. He held me and told me that he would miss me and wished me the best, and that we didn't know what the future could still have in store for us as a couple. We're still besties, and he's doing a good job taking care of the house. We're both going to concentrate on school and our writing, but we'll be thousands of miles apart.
The third hardest thing about moving across the country was packing all of my stuff into boxes. It's not as easy as it sounds, even if you had less than you thought. My things will be shipped out to me, but it's still kind of annoying to be wanting to read a certain book or put my knick-knacks back up and not have them yet. But at least I have things to be shipped out. And I brought my cross-stitch stuff, my iPod, and my laptop. So, YAY!
It's not like I'm going to be sitting in the house all the time, though. I've only seen a small part of the city and I'm already hopelessly in love with it. There's more antique shops than I've ever seen in my life. Lots of other shops, lounges, and places to eat, too. All within walking distance! I've been pleasantly overwhelmed, but I'm slowly getting used to it all.
And yes, this means I'm going to start blogging again. I might even bring back my Tumblr! HUZZAH!
I'll start from the top: I stopped blogging (and doing much of anything else) because I essentially lost all motivation to do much of anything. While my anxiety was in check (another story altogether), everything else just didn't seem right and things had to change. Long story short, I relocated to Portland, Oregon. It wasn't exactly spur-of-the-moment since I had thought about it for a while, but I didn't know I would be moving so soon. While I know this won't magically solve all my problems, this will give me time and a new place to put things in perspective and "find out who I really am." That last bit sounds kind of New-Agey bullcrappish, but it's true, lol.
Saying goodbye to my family, Josh, and his family was the hardest part. I told myself to be all hard and not to cry, only to end up breaking down and sobbing like Lucille Ball in McGhee Tyson Airport while my mom and sister cried alongside. Flying freaks me out, but I made all my connections and landed safe and sound in the City of Roses, thanks to my Heavenly Father.
The second hardest part was having to leave my Chirpy Bird, Josh. He held me and told me that he would miss me and wished me the best, and that we didn't know what the future could still have in store for us as a couple. We're still besties, and he's doing a good job taking care of the house. We're both going to concentrate on school and our writing, but we'll be thousands of miles apart.
The third hardest thing about moving across the country was packing all of my stuff into boxes. It's not as easy as it sounds, even if you had less than you thought. My things will be shipped out to me, but it's still kind of annoying to be wanting to read a certain book or put my knick-knacks back up and not have them yet. But at least I have things to be shipped out. And I brought my cross-stitch stuff, my iPod, and my laptop. So, YAY!
It's not like I'm going to be sitting in the house all the time, though. I've only seen a small part of the city and I'm already hopelessly in love with it. There's more antique shops than I've ever seen in my life. Lots of other shops, lounges, and places to eat, too. All within walking distance! I've been pleasantly overwhelmed, but I'm slowly getting used to it all.
And yes, this means I'm going to start blogging again. I might even bring back my Tumblr! HUZZAH!
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